The kids want to peep, too excited to sleep
Listening for sleigh bells
Hear drunks in the street
Mistletoe is hung, Christmas has begun
Gran found the sherry and wants to have fun

When suddenly outside it all springs to life
Santa got there early on his pimped up ride
He said I’m here on my bike the reindeer’s are on strike
I’ve got this brand new engine it’s been modified’

There were fairy lights on everybody’s bikes
When Santa rocked up on his Harley
it was party time, Rudolph left behind

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a very merry Christmas time.

Dad cooked the dinner, a total beginner
Everybody’s waiting for the main event
Spuds could knock you out
Force fed brussels sprouts
The gravey’s set there like cement
and grandads flatulent

News flash on tv there’s been a tragedy,
Santa’s been drink driving, he’s in custody
He said I’d had one too many
I had to spend a penny
Next thing I’m being arrested for house burglary’

There were fairy lights on everybody’s bikes
When Santa rocked up on his Harley
it was party time, Rudolph left behind

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a very merry Christmas time.

Santa had collided, the Harley’s been up sided
No one gets their presents in the USA
The reindeers ever ready, dependable and steady
No one knows what Rudolph’s on
The speed of light, the sleigh is gone
He’s the one who’ll come along and rescue Christmas day

There were fairy lights on everybody’s bikes
When Santa rocked up on his Harley
It was party time, Rudolph left behind

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a very merry Christmas time.